Last week was my first week back at building back up my base. I have been knocked down by anemia for what seems like forever. Having low iron isn’t new to me. Having it while trying to train is. I have had so many ‘bad’ runs in the last couple of months I could write about them for days but instead of complaining, I looked ahead.
I used the bad to create the good, kept my head held high and moved forward. Now, I am back to running ‘hard’ and feeling better. It’s like starting all over again except I am in slightly better shape, just slower. If you have ever tried to train while anemic, you do what you can, and that usually means cutting some runs short and not running fast. I just started doing speed workouts again. So this speed work I am doing…yeah, its hard! haha!
My body isn’t used to moving at a faster pace at all. And I am surely not nearly as speedy as I was before, even then I wasn’t fast compared to a lot of people. Just fast for me, its all relative anyway right? Annnyway, I swear I have a point here. Starting over SUCKS. It is like you know how to run but your body resists. Doing so while you are still in recovery mode from draining your body of nutrients is a mental mind game. Is it my body? Or is it me being a wimp? I have to figure that out with each run.
Monday: I had speed work, mile repeats to be exact. I was already nervous about them because it was windy, and I hadn’t run the paces Avery had listed on the road in a while. I had done them on a treadmill but to me that is a huge difference! I did my warm up, slower than what was prescribed but it was what felt right. I ran my first repeat, I was supposed to be at 8:20 (told you it was not fast), which used to be so easy for me, I could run that pace and know I would hit without a doubt. Monday, I had doubts. I was running a one mile loop from my house around town and back. I am not going to lie. It was painful. I hit 8:24, close but not where I should have been. My legs were tired but my lungs…they were on fire. I started coughing during my rest period and couldn’t stop. This was my first outdoor hard run since the weather changed. Not cool body…not cool. Either way, I stopped my run short. Got a huge reality check and moved on. Starting over is hard.
Tuesday: I looked forward to this run more than I had the one the day before. I had Dare with me so not being alone always makes things easier. I had a tempo run. (no I normally do not have runs like this back to back but since I have a race next weekend, my workouts are in a weird order) I did my warmup and picked Dare up for the up tempo part of my run. I was supposed to run 5 miles at 8:45…I was worried I wouldn’t hit. First mile was right into the wind. 9:20, ugh. I told Dare right then that I should just turn around, he looked at me and said no. haha! I’ve taught him well. It is definitely defeating to not hit paces I used to be able too so easily. Mile 2, 9:15, ok so that was better, still not great but we had some hills on that one. Mile 3, 8:42, I literally said aloud “about time!!” My confidence actually started coming back, maybe my body just needed to remember how to run faster, not that it isn’t capable. Mile 4, 8:34, whew, done. Literally done, I stopped at 4 miles instead of 5 as my legs were very heavy. Yes, this happens but I am pretty on edge when it comes to running my recovering body. So I did a cooldown (1 mile with each of my pups) and took the day as a win.
This morning I woke up wondering why I let myself think negatively of myself. Why am I letting my anemic body mandate how my mind works? It shouldn’t. It is harder than it should be to be confident when I know just a few short months ago I had these paces on lock. I could run them over and over again without questioning myself. So now, its times to not only finish letting my body build itself back up out of the anemia hole but to bring my mind out of it as well!
Next race: Fuzzy Fandango 25k (11/10)…I was originally signed up for the 50k but dropped down due to my health. 🙂